Manage

Finances, car trouble, raising children, whats for dinner, these are all things that I worry about on a daily basis. Why can't my life just be manageable? I worry about what I will wear, and where I will go, what I will do, and how tall the grass is (because the army will TEAR us up if the grass gets too long) Looking over the past week, I realized I'm trying to handle all of this on my own. Why do I struggle so much with handing it over to God? Sometimes I hand it over, but then I take it back within a few short days (or hours) Do I not trust Him? Do I think that I can do a better job than he can? Am I afraid that he is too busy? Or that he won't care? Or that maybe it won't work?

All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Romans 8:28
Then why God? Why?! Why has my life been plagued with divorce, abuse, bad luck, late bills, flat tires, sickness, addiction, messiness, a broken family, guilt and shame? Why can't my life just be manageable???........... Maybe because if my life is manageable, I'm just gonna manage it. I won't need His help. I'll stop seeking His kingdom. That is my biggest fear.

Easter Sunday always seems to spark a renewing for me. Have you watched "The Passion" lately? If not, now would be a great time. (personally, I watch it every 3 or 4 months, when I start getting too comfortable) It gives me a good kick in the pants to remind me of the price that was paid for me. Jesus didn't die on the cross so I could manage my life alone. Too not take full advantage of his desire to have a personal relationship with me is a sin. Sin is something I'm very good at. Luckily, Jesus forgives freely.

In closing, I want to let everybody know that putting ALL of my hope in God was the best decision I have ever made. He has never let me down. We are making it month after month on our budget (even though sometimes it doesn't make sense on paper) Nick is growing and learning by leaps and bounds (Jack too) Looking back on my prayer journal God has worked everything out....just like he always has. And even when things turn out terrible, he still provides the laughter.